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I can't keep doing this alone

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

Quick answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

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Home›By Situation›I can't keep doing this alone

If you are reading this at 2 a.m., that is information. Caregiver exhaustion is not a character flaw, and there is more free support in most metros than families ever find.

Short answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

What to do, in order

  1. Take the exhaustion seriously as a clinical fact. Caregiver strain predicts poor outcomes for both people.
  2. Use respite before you are desperate. New York's 2025 adult day health care median is $144/day; MLTC or NHTD may help cover it depending on eligibility.
  3. Take the free support that exists here. NYC Aging (DFTA) funds caregiver support programs citywide; CASC is the local Staten Island access point.
  4. Get a second opinion on the plan. Your county's Area Agency on Aging will review options at no cost.
  5. Name the thing you are avoiding. Most caregivers know what the next step is months before they take it.

Questions families ask

Can I report suspected abuse anonymously in New York?

Reports to Adult Protective Services can generally be made without formally identifying yourself as the reporter, though providing contact information can help APS follow up if they need more detail. Confirm the current specifics of anonymous reporting directly with the Staten Island borough office or the citywide DSS-OneNumber line before making a report if this is a concern.

When should I call 911 instead of APS?

Call 911 if someone is in immediate danger -- an active assault, a medical emergency, or any situation where waiting for APS to respond during business hours would put someone at serious risk. APS's Staten Island borough line and the citywide DSS-OneNumber line operate during standard business hours and are designed for non-emergency reporting and follow-up.

SIUH or Richmond University Medical Center gave us a discharge date in 3 days. What do we do first?

Ask the case manager or social worker for the discharge plan in writing, and confirm in writing whether your parent was admitted as an inpatient or held under observation status -- that single fact determines whether Medicare's skilled nursing benefit is even available for a rehab stay afterward.

Not sure where to start?

Answer five questions and a local advisor will come back with senior care options in your area that actually fit your situation and budget. It is free, and there is no obligation.

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